Keyword "SUNFISH"

119 results- almost exclusively for a particular type of ceramic fish wall hanging

BUT

Then there was this:
Sadie, A Classy Ocean Sunfish or Mola Mola



Description
Meet Sadie, a very pleasant and gentle sunfish. She is very sophisticated looking in heather gray, accented by pink eye rings. She was designed and crocheted with love by me. She measures about 5 inches across, from her nose to her tail. Her interests include art nouveau, shih-tzus, playing piano, and sunbathing while floating on her side through the open ocean. Sadie would make a cute little gift for anyone who loves molas or unusual ocean life. She is made of acrylic yarn and is surface washable. She will come to you wearing a signed hang tag to show that she is a KeepMe Company creation. Thanks for checking out Sadie!

Remember: the fish is BOTH classy AND sophisticated.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21643558

And, if you don't want to splurge with the $12 to buy it already made, you can shell out a mere $3 for the pdf!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21642016

Keyword "POVERTY"

I was surprised there were only 23 results for this keyword.

I was even more surprised at the amusingly ironic item in the search:



Description
Black/White Vans, "A.N." logo, "Poverty Sucks"

Hmmmmm. For a mere $125 YOU TOO can complain how much "poverty sucks"...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=14189420

Keyword "CHAMPION"

The keyword champion generated 131 results.

LOTS of awesome weirdness for this keyword... there were pancake earrings, small felted portraits, even a "Champion Neon Pink Bonbon Bunny".

But, being from Gainesville, FL, I was compelled to choose the following:



Description:
This wire art UF Gator is great for those hard to buy gifts. It is hand-made from wire and acrylic beads. 50% of the sale proceeds assist widows and orphans in the artist's home country, Zimbabwe, Africa.

Length: 11 inches

Width: 3 inches

Height: 2 inches

GO GATORS!!!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7189524

Keyword "PIRANHA"

38 results for piranha... almost all of them fish related (no surprise).

The hands down winner has to be this:



Description
Meet Preston...he's a ferocious looking piranha (but he's really a nice guy). Even so, we do classify him as the 'rebel' of the puppet friend family here. Preston is definately one to 'swim against the flow'. I've been having to keep a keen eye on him lately as I know he's just dying to sneek out and get a shark tatoo. Dispite this, he's a very funny friend to have around. Preston is looking for his forever home.

Yes- that is a SOCK PUPPET piranha. Words almost failed me when I came across it. From the half stoned look in it's eyes so the mere fact that a piranha was made into a sock puppet, I was just at a loss.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=22452795

Keyword "TREADMILL"

Five results for "treadmill". There were three interesting art pieces, so I picked my favorite:



Skeleton Crew
Description
Postcard print of a collage made of paper, glue, and masking tape. Glossy finish.
4 x 5 3/4"

There's just something about it that appeals to me- perhaps the vivid colors, perhaps the generally abstract nature of it all.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=20959503

Keyword "SHOWMAN"

Only four results- three were the same item and the fourth was a typo.

So I present: the TYPO:



Fun Showman Ornament (SM39)
Description
This cute fused glass snowman is looking for a new holiday home. He measures approximately 2 inches by 3 inches and has a wire fused into the glass for strength. Makes a great gift.

It is actually a pretty cute item...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=18187462

Keyword "STATIC"

110 results for static- much of which is "static clings".

Nestled within the search was this item:



Trapeze - Circus Static or Swinging Trapeze
Description
Trapeze - Professionally made for professional and recreational trapeze artists. This luxurious trapeze has cruelty-free red 'suede' fabric stitched over the rope splices where it's attached to the bar. 12 ft. synthetic ropes rated to hold over 3,000 lbs. each, thimbled rope ends, red sports taped bar, and 4 in. bar extensions with flashy mirrored red tape. White stitching matches the white ropes, and the 1 in. diameter solid bar measures 23 inches between the ropes, and 34 inches end to end. If rigged correctly, it can also be used for swinging trapeze.

WOW. Because when I look for a piece of equipment for the circus, my first place to look is always an online handmade crafts website.

Keyword "MILEAGE"

Only six results for this search but the two jewelry pieces were interesting. One clearly defeated the other, mostly due to ingenuity.



Description
The mileage chart section of an outdated Motor Carrier's Road Atlas has given life to a fantastic bangle bracelet! The inside of the bracelet measures 7-1/2" and is flexible to allow for your hand to pass through. The paper itself has what looks to be a light laminate, so it's quite strong and gives it a glossy shine.

Keyword "QUALIFICATION"

Only two items show up for this search, but one stands out as the clear winner...



Description:
On the shoreline, Jesus tells the Fishapod, "While your qualifications are impressive, they do not meet our needs at this time." Jesus and the Fishapod are handcut stamps, and Jesus has a gold halo.

Jesus as an HR manager- something I had never considered...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19053563

Keyword "FANATIC"

62 results for this keyword (which is a little surpising with how many fanatical crafters there seem to be)...

and the WTF award got to this darling piece of... something (well, I can't actually figure out what it is):



Perhaps the description will help:
Hey Mates! My name is Ringo "I Love You Ya Ya Ya"
I traced back my family tree and it appears that I am a descendant of a Furby and a Gremlin so I guess that would make me a "Furblin" I am looking for a forever home and would like to introduce myself to you. 1st of all I am not a toy for a small child. I have parts that could come off and be swallowed, now that we have that disclaimer taken care of it's time to talk about me... which by the way is one of my favorite subjects!
I am a couch potato and have auditioned for the following reality shows
Dancing with the Stars: Unfortunately for me I don't have legs or feet
Amazing Race: (Visa revoked by the court system... that's another story I will have to explain to you)
American Idol: Simon said I should sing solo (So Low that nobody can hear me) I think he is mean
Survivor: Jeff said I lack the abilities to survive in a Jellystone Park (also see Amazing Race Visa Problems)
So with all that said do I sound like someone you would like to get to know? If so I am up for adoption and would love to meet and be your buddy. I am one of a kind! I am made of fleece, felt, and yarn. I have on the coolest of shades and you gotta love my 1960's haircut. I come with a laminated card with my name and description of my reality show fiascos. Hope to See You Soon I also have brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles that will be featured by seller Kottonkandy52 they would make awesome fun one of a kind gifts for friends and family! Remember I am not a toy so please do not give me to small children.
I measure approx 3" tall and I sometimes can stand with a little help from my friends.

Nope. The description doesn't help at all.

Anyone know what this might be? Other than perhaps a waste of $10...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21353245

Keyword "INSIGHT"

57 results for insight- mostly a "new age" variety of fun...

But this one took the cake (and I suppose could serve it too).



Description
...
I know, I know...more eye plates!! I just can't help myself. I love eyes, the window to the soul. I painted a third eye to remind you to exercise yours. We all have one you just need to use it!!!

******FOOD AND DISHWASHER SAFE*******

This would be great for your altar, on your dresser, entry table or hey, even serve food on it!!!!

Just... wow.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=9431060

Keyword "IGNORANCE"

What a surprisingly appropriate random word! While Esty may have only 34 results for this, I saw at least fifty in just one weekend! I suppose that comes with working customer service...

My favorite item (and one quite suited to my office):



Description
Boy is this sign so true in my house...Nobody ever knows anything! LOL! I guess this comes from living with all males!

The background has been undercoated black over which I have topcoated dark blue. The edges have been sanded to give the sign a nice worn prim feel. In ivory lettering I have stenciled "Ignorance Is Bliss, So Why Aren't You Happy?" on the sign. Antiquing has been lightly applied to the sign.

Wonderful... just what I need for my office. Then I can ask everyone how happy they are and they'll just think I'm being friendly...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21275937

Keyword "SUMMARY"

Just ONE lonely result for summary!

So I have to post it-



Summary of a Night in Paris
Description
Necklace handmade with love featuring a brass pendant adorned by a deconstructed vintage button as the centerpiece. From the pendant hangs a faceted bead of palest blue, bottom tipped by a transparent bicone swarovski. The faceted bead actually turns a pale lavender in certain natural lights -- I can't really explain why, it just does. (Please see picture for most accurate description.)

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19005923

Keyword "HUDDLE"

Only 15 result for huddle- and this item was hands down the cutest!



Description
This set of 4 Chilly Penguin stitch markers was made by hand from polymer clay. The stitch markers that you receive may differ slightly from the ones shown because each one is hand sculpted by me, but the style of each penguin will be the same. This set includes penguins wearing earmuffs, a scarf, a hat, and mittens.

How adorable are they!?

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=22085059

Keyword "DEBAUCHERY"

For some reason I expected far more than a measly nine results for such a fun word!

Of those nine there were several repeats too- but I did find something fun:



Description:
This Limited Edition Holiday card features "Holiday Debauchery" on a 5x7" folded card with Merry Christmas printed on the inside. This card is signed and comes with a bright red envelope.

Hmmmmm- I think I know what my friends and family are getting for cards THIS year!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7496892

Keyword "BRIEF"

394 result- the majority of which had to do with- well, briefs.

But one set of briefs blew all the other offerings away:



Description

We joked about it long enough, it was time to make dreams come true! Please allow us to introduce our first EVER pair of beef jerky underwear we call BRIEF JERKY. Note the time and care that has gone into crafting this wonderful undergarment. The attention to the properly placed groments that enhance the wearers comfort! We've even "bedazzled" this pair and added our Mixed Species logo on the back next to a heart of rhinestones. All in time for Father's Day!

Why not- when I think of what I'm getting for my Dad I can't NOT consider beef jerky briefs... not at least unless I was SANE. For the love of gawd I hope this is not a serious post...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=6577234

Keyword "OBSTRUCTION"

Three results...

Just three.

Lonely

results

BUT

One of the three made me laugh so I suppose I have to post it.

Congratulations, We Have Removed the Obstruction


Description
Digital print to fit 8 x 10 frame. Shipped in a cello sleeve and a stiff mailer.

It's almost like they have been to our local hospital and EVERYTHING!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5941047

Keyword "EQUALITY"

245 results for equality- mostly for gay rights and male/female equality themed items.

But, low and behold, THERE WAS something completely out of the ordinary in the search:

Love Equals Cats Cuff


Description
This cuff is indeed a lovely accessory to any outfit or costume. Overwhelmingly cute stitched felt pieces and charms make this piece ideal for cosplays, sweet lolita outfits, or just adding a bit of feline fandom to your everyday wear.

I'm all for cats (everyone who knows me will attest to that, but even I would go so far to say that NOTHING I wear ever needs this much "feline fandom".

Ever.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16415173

Keyword "MIDDAY"

Only 22 items in this search- but low and behold there's a creepy one...



Description
This piece is a signed, 8x10 high quality print of an original acrylic painting, printed on heavy weight smooth stock - with its white border, it fits perfectly into an 8x10 frame!

From The Artist, About the Image:
In anticipation of an upcoming family beach trip – visualizing gorgeous sun, clear sky, warm sand and two well-behaved, rambunctious, little round boys soaking up the fun in the sun (with lots of sun protection, of course) then relenting to tranquil naps in cool sheets – I began this painting, truly led by a warm, simple and glorious vision.


Nothing too creepy at first glance... but then the EYES...

OMG the closed eyes. That's not even physically possible. You can't have normal eyes then once you shut them they go all Gollum style.

CREEPY...



http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=20424430

Keyword "EYE"

Not surprisingly, Etsy found 18282 results for "eye". Needless to say I was not going to go through 871 pages of results... so I've decided to post the highest and lowest cost item for "eye"...

The lowest priced item is a "pay it forward" item (PIF)...


PIF Hand crocheted mini clutch - eye glass case - purse

Description
Here's a hand crocheted mini clutch

Would make a great eye glass case to sit next to your chair or bed. Or whatever you ecide!

This is a PIF so please pass a good deed favor forward!

It's cute and for a good cause.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19730298

The highest priced item is a painting:



Eye

Description
Painting

...

Yes, seriously, that is the description. No background, no inspirations, no mention of size, or age... Perhaps all that information come inscribed on a gold plaque as the cost fro this item is SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21521215

Keyword "LAW"

An interesting mix of law enforcement and mother-in-law came up in the 332 reults for this key word.

The one that made me laugh hysterically:



Description:
Officer Friendly makes getting tickets fun. He sports a traditional police uniform, slightly too big, giving him a sort of boyish look. Don't get too close, Officer Friendly carries a sidearm and cuffs, but I wouldn't worry, he may let you go with a warning.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO- the officer is MELTING!!!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16552117

Keyword "CURRY"

I thought this would be a fairly small search list- but there are 298 items! There are the obvious Indian curry related items, along with items that are curry colored. And then there is this:



That's right TIM CURRY! HA.

Description:
This little mouse is The House of Mouse's homage to Tim Curry and the great Rocky Horror Picture Show. Frankenfurter Mouse comes with fishnet stockings, sparkley hot pants and matching corseted top, white pearl necklace, bright red lipstick and black curly hair. He is the perfect gift for any fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

How can it possibly get any more abstract than a MOUSE dressed as TIM CURRY dressed as FRANKENFURTER...

I'm not sure it can.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21842414

Keyword "STOP"

Whew- 927 results for Stop- but only ONE Goblin Doll (tagged as Stop Animation):



Description:
His name is PIB, he is a goblin with a very skeptical personality.
His head, hands and feet are made of hand-cast resin.
His hat is made with a natural pod.
His features are painted with acrylics and inks.
His body is made of cotton and faux fur.
His hair is made of feathers.

He is about 6 1/2" tall.
He is built with a wire armature inside so he can change positions also you can turn his head from side to side.

He is decorated with natural elements such as moss that is dried and preserved, and a spiky pod hat.

I think he's adorable and exceptionally well made- but I have a soft spot for art dolls...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=19693102

Keyword "RESTRICTED"

Only ELEVEN results for this word BUT a really cool necklace was there (and so now it is here):



Description:
This small citrine teardrop seed is captured by wire wrap, it lays on a sea weed green Unakite stone set on a rectagular piece of metal hardware.

I'm not sure if it's the idea, or the colors, or what, but I really do enjoy this piece of jewelry!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19203629

Keyword "TRUTH"

A much larger assortement of jewelry ended up in the 361 results for "truth" but a few x-files references popped up, along with some interesting prints of artwork.

And then the only post that truly stood out popped up... the one that smack of irony as one considers the keyword "truth" and how the box is described...



"I made this box to hold everything and nothing. It holds the whole universe, much of the time. It is very precisely one inch square. The lid closes half way down. As it opens, it reveals the bottom half, curved very carefully to always maintain a flush fit with the front edge of the lid. At about halfway open, it is stopped by tiny silver chains tied with thin silk thread.

Don't open it any further, you might let the universe out."
The words "artistic license" springs to mind... as does the fact that for a one inch square box that doesn't actually open someone is going to plop down $800.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7563431

Keyword "PANTRY"

307 results for "pantry"- most of which were candles or tote bags or primitive kitchen items...

and then- there was this:

Cereal Monster - Purple Plushie Creature from my Pantry



The artist's description:
Fall is here and now they are wandering in from the cool night air. I keep finding monsters hiding in dark places. I found this one hiding in my pantry inside a box of cereal. The kids totally freaked out when they tried to pour a bowl of Lucky Charms and out popped a purple monster!

She may look vicious but as long as she has some munchies nearby she's perfectly harmless and loves to cuddle.

This monster is stitched entirely of fabric with no loose parts, measures about 5 inches tall by 5.5 inches wide.


To minimize suffering, this monster will be shipped Priority Mail in a sturdy box for fast "humane" delivery.

That thing is just made of win- the sheer idea of it AND it's purple...

I'm not sure it could be any better.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15688643

Keyword "BLACKBOARD"

Only 98 items have the keyword of blackboard and, well, most of them are blackboards- but I did find this gem:



Artist's description:
"IN THE DEEP"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In The deep there are many sea dwellers

humans have yet to see.

The MerAngel is a mythical blend of sweetness and savior.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I actually really like how well the artwork was done- very vibrant colors and somewhat unconventionally blended subject material!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=11565861

Keyword "SEND"

The keyword send brought up 381 results- many of which were "ready to send" and "send me your photo and I'll attach it to _________ ". There was also a smattering of various "send in the clowns" type of items, but clowns are just too creepy to feature.

However, there were some gems so today I've got two- one very pretty piece of jewelry and one very odd piece of art...



The decription on this pieces is:

"Send some love - the world needs it!"

This wooden domino is giving the message of love to the world. It is embellished with a polymerclay heart and a 'LOVE' charm. The stamp represents the world as well as the idea to 'send it on'.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=19392300

It's a very nicely done piece and very reasonably priced to boot!

Onto the odd...

There's always something a tad bit creepy about handmade art dolls and this one is no exception...



Description:

It is hard to give one's love to another when they are not with you. You send your love...do they get it, was your love lost in transit, why have they not sent their love back? We guard our hearts against such pain, placing barriers around it for protection, but, we give our love away nonetheless. This angel sends her love, but her barriers stay up around her heart, just in case. She gazes off into the distance, longing for her missing love, and wondering when he will return?

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=20834047

The slightly dead look in the doll's eyes doesn't really help matters either...

Keyword "EQUIPMENT"

This is the weirdest item I could find in the keyword search for "equipment"- 361 results.



Here is part of the artist's description:

Miles is felted in black with his traditional favorite blue coveralls held on with one felt button. He is wearing a removeable faux straw hat made from wool with a waxed linen cord to keep the wind from blowing it off. It has convenient holes to allow his ears to be comfortable. He has a huge toothy grin and green eyes with glass bead pupils.

That's right- Miles... he comes pre-named just for you!

The best part is actually looking at the key words selected: art, fiber art, needle felted, soft sculpture, animals, cat, tractor, nostalgia, farming equipment, collectible, folk art

I'm going to go out on a limb and say if your crafting piece requires the key words "cat" and "tractor" perhaps you should go the extra mile and throw in "weird" and "ohmygodseriouslyacatonatractor". But that's just me...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=21356582

Keyword "COOLING"

This is my favorite item in the keyword search for "cooling"- 135 results.



Here's the artist's description:
Description
A deep red orange bead is returning to solidity from a molten state because of it's juxtaposition with a clear 'ice cube' bead. It looks like a perpetual cohabitation of fire with ice, bound by vermilion and copper wire.

The ring is a size 6, by the way.

Apart from the obvious creativity in the description, the ring IS quite cool looking.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=10194404