Keyword "MILEAGE"

Only six results for this search but the two jewelry pieces were interesting. One clearly defeated the other, mostly due to ingenuity.



Description
The mileage chart section of an outdated Motor Carrier's Road Atlas has given life to a fantastic bangle bracelet! The inside of the bracelet measures 7-1/2" and is flexible to allow for your hand to pass through. The paper itself has what looks to be a light laminate, so it's quite strong and gives it a glossy shine.

Keyword "QUALIFICATION"

Only two items show up for this search, but one stands out as the clear winner...



Description:
On the shoreline, Jesus tells the Fishapod, "While your qualifications are impressive, they do not meet our needs at this time." Jesus and the Fishapod are handcut stamps, and Jesus has a gold halo.

Jesus as an HR manager- something I had never considered...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19053563

Keyword "FANATIC"

62 results for this keyword (which is a little surpising with how many fanatical crafters there seem to be)...

and the WTF award got to this darling piece of... something (well, I can't actually figure out what it is):



Perhaps the description will help:
Hey Mates! My name is Ringo "I Love You Ya Ya Ya"
I traced back my family tree and it appears that I am a descendant of a Furby and a Gremlin so I guess that would make me a "Furblin" I am looking for a forever home and would like to introduce myself to you. 1st of all I am not a toy for a small child. I have parts that could come off and be swallowed, now that we have that disclaimer taken care of it's time to talk about me... which by the way is one of my favorite subjects!
I am a couch potato and have auditioned for the following reality shows
Dancing with the Stars: Unfortunately for me I don't have legs or feet
Amazing Race: (Visa revoked by the court system... that's another story I will have to explain to you)
American Idol: Simon said I should sing solo (So Low that nobody can hear me) I think he is mean
Survivor: Jeff said I lack the abilities to survive in a Jellystone Park (also see Amazing Race Visa Problems)
So with all that said do I sound like someone you would like to get to know? If so I am up for adoption and would love to meet and be your buddy. I am one of a kind! I am made of fleece, felt, and yarn. I have on the coolest of shades and you gotta love my 1960's haircut. I come with a laminated card with my name and description of my reality show fiascos. Hope to See You Soon I also have brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts and uncles that will be featured by seller Kottonkandy52 they would make awesome fun one of a kind gifts for friends and family! Remember I am not a toy so please do not give me to small children.
I measure approx 3" tall and I sometimes can stand with a little help from my friends.

Nope. The description doesn't help at all.

Anyone know what this might be? Other than perhaps a waste of $10...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21353245

Keyword "INSIGHT"

57 results for insight- mostly a "new age" variety of fun...

But this one took the cake (and I suppose could serve it too).



Description
...
I know, I know...more eye plates!! I just can't help myself. I love eyes, the window to the soul. I painted a third eye to remind you to exercise yours. We all have one you just need to use it!!!

******FOOD AND DISHWASHER SAFE*******

This would be great for your altar, on your dresser, entry table or hey, even serve food on it!!!!

Just... wow.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=9431060

Keyword "IGNORANCE"

What a surprisingly appropriate random word! While Esty may have only 34 results for this, I saw at least fifty in just one weekend! I suppose that comes with working customer service...

My favorite item (and one quite suited to my office):



Description
Boy is this sign so true in my house...Nobody ever knows anything! LOL! I guess this comes from living with all males!

The background has been undercoated black over which I have topcoated dark blue. The edges have been sanded to give the sign a nice worn prim feel. In ivory lettering I have stenciled "Ignorance Is Bliss, So Why Aren't You Happy?" on the sign. Antiquing has been lightly applied to the sign.

Wonderful... just what I need for my office. Then I can ask everyone how happy they are and they'll just think I'm being friendly...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21275937

Keyword "SUMMARY"

Just ONE lonely result for summary!

So I have to post it-



Summary of a Night in Paris
Description
Necklace handmade with love featuring a brass pendant adorned by a deconstructed vintage button as the centerpiece. From the pendant hangs a faceted bead of palest blue, bottom tipped by a transparent bicone swarovski. The faceted bead actually turns a pale lavender in certain natural lights -- I can't really explain why, it just does. (Please see picture for most accurate description.)

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19005923

Keyword "HUDDLE"

Only 15 result for huddle- and this item was hands down the cutest!



Description
This set of 4 Chilly Penguin stitch markers was made by hand from polymer clay. The stitch markers that you receive may differ slightly from the ones shown because each one is hand sculpted by me, but the style of each penguin will be the same. This set includes penguins wearing earmuffs, a scarf, a hat, and mittens.

How adorable are they!?

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=22085059

Keyword "DEBAUCHERY"

For some reason I expected far more than a measly nine results for such a fun word!

Of those nine there were several repeats too- but I did find something fun:



Description:
This Limited Edition Holiday card features "Holiday Debauchery" on a 5x7" folded card with Merry Christmas printed on the inside. This card is signed and comes with a bright red envelope.

Hmmmmm- I think I know what my friends and family are getting for cards THIS year!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7496892

Keyword "BRIEF"

394 result- the majority of which had to do with- well, briefs.

But one set of briefs blew all the other offerings away:



Description

We joked about it long enough, it was time to make dreams come true! Please allow us to introduce our first EVER pair of beef jerky underwear we call BRIEF JERKY. Note the time and care that has gone into crafting this wonderful undergarment. The attention to the properly placed groments that enhance the wearers comfort! We've even "bedazzled" this pair and added our Mixed Species logo on the back next to a heart of rhinestones. All in time for Father's Day!

Why not- when I think of what I'm getting for my Dad I can't NOT consider beef jerky briefs... not at least unless I was SANE. For the love of gawd I hope this is not a serious post...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=6577234

Keyword "OBSTRUCTION"

Three results...

Just three.

Lonely

results

BUT

One of the three made me laugh so I suppose I have to post it.

Congratulations, We Have Removed the Obstruction


Description
Digital print to fit 8 x 10 frame. Shipped in a cello sleeve and a stiff mailer.

It's almost like they have been to our local hospital and EVERYTHING!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5941047

Keyword "EQUALITY"

245 results for equality- mostly for gay rights and male/female equality themed items.

But, low and behold, THERE WAS something completely out of the ordinary in the search:

Love Equals Cats Cuff


Description
This cuff is indeed a lovely accessory to any outfit or costume. Overwhelmingly cute stitched felt pieces and charms make this piece ideal for cosplays, sweet lolita outfits, or just adding a bit of feline fandom to your everyday wear.

I'm all for cats (everyone who knows me will attest to that, but even I would go so far to say that NOTHING I wear ever needs this much "feline fandom".

Ever.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16415173

Keyword "MIDDAY"

Only 22 items in this search- but low and behold there's a creepy one...



Description
This piece is a signed, 8x10 high quality print of an original acrylic painting, printed on heavy weight smooth stock - with its white border, it fits perfectly into an 8x10 frame!

From The Artist, About the Image:
In anticipation of an upcoming family beach trip – visualizing gorgeous sun, clear sky, warm sand and two well-behaved, rambunctious, little round boys soaking up the fun in the sun (with lots of sun protection, of course) then relenting to tranquil naps in cool sheets – I began this painting, truly led by a warm, simple and glorious vision.


Nothing too creepy at first glance... but then the EYES...

OMG the closed eyes. That's not even physically possible. You can't have normal eyes then once you shut them they go all Gollum style.

CREEPY...



http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=20424430

Keyword "EYE"

Not surprisingly, Etsy found 18282 results for "eye". Needless to say I was not going to go through 871 pages of results... so I've decided to post the highest and lowest cost item for "eye"...

The lowest priced item is a "pay it forward" item (PIF)...


PIF Hand crocheted mini clutch - eye glass case - purse

Description
Here's a hand crocheted mini clutch

Would make a great eye glass case to sit next to your chair or bed. Or whatever you ecide!

This is a PIF so please pass a good deed favor forward!

It's cute and for a good cause.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19730298

The highest priced item is a painting:



Eye

Description
Painting

...

Yes, seriously, that is the description. No background, no inspirations, no mention of size, or age... Perhaps all that information come inscribed on a gold plaque as the cost fro this item is SEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21521215

Keyword "LAW"

An interesting mix of law enforcement and mother-in-law came up in the 332 reults for this key word.

The one that made me laugh hysterically:



Description:
Officer Friendly makes getting tickets fun. He sports a traditional police uniform, slightly too big, giving him a sort of boyish look. Don't get too close, Officer Friendly carries a sidearm and cuffs, but I wouldn't worry, he may let you go with a warning.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO- the officer is MELTING!!!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16552117

Keyword "CURRY"

I thought this would be a fairly small search list- but there are 298 items! There are the obvious Indian curry related items, along with items that are curry colored. And then there is this:



That's right TIM CURRY! HA.

Description:
This little mouse is The House of Mouse's homage to Tim Curry and the great Rocky Horror Picture Show. Frankenfurter Mouse comes with fishnet stockings, sparkley hot pants and matching corseted top, white pearl necklace, bright red lipstick and black curly hair. He is the perfect gift for any fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

How can it possibly get any more abstract than a MOUSE dressed as TIM CURRY dressed as FRANKENFURTER...

I'm not sure it can.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21842414

Keyword "STOP"

Whew- 927 results for Stop- but only ONE Goblin Doll (tagged as Stop Animation):



Description:
His name is PIB, he is a goblin with a very skeptical personality.
His head, hands and feet are made of hand-cast resin.
His hat is made with a natural pod.
His features are painted with acrylics and inks.
His body is made of cotton and faux fur.
His hair is made of feathers.

He is about 6 1/2" tall.
He is built with a wire armature inside so he can change positions also you can turn his head from side to side.

He is decorated with natural elements such as moss that is dried and preserved, and a spiky pod hat.

I think he's adorable and exceptionally well made- but I have a soft spot for art dolls...

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=19693102

Keyword "RESTRICTED"

Only ELEVEN results for this word BUT a really cool necklace was there (and so now it is here):



Description:
This small citrine teardrop seed is captured by wire wrap, it lays on a sea weed green Unakite stone set on a rectagular piece of metal hardware.

I'm not sure if it's the idea, or the colors, or what, but I really do enjoy this piece of jewelry!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=19203629

Keyword "TRUTH"

A much larger assortement of jewelry ended up in the 361 results for "truth" but a few x-files references popped up, along with some interesting prints of artwork.

And then the only post that truly stood out popped up... the one that smack of irony as one considers the keyword "truth" and how the box is described...



"I made this box to hold everything and nothing. It holds the whole universe, much of the time. It is very precisely one inch square. The lid closes half way down. As it opens, it reveals the bottom half, curved very carefully to always maintain a flush fit with the front edge of the lid. At about halfway open, it is stopped by tiny silver chains tied with thin silk thread.

Don't open it any further, you might let the universe out."
The words "artistic license" springs to mind... as does the fact that for a one inch square box that doesn't actually open someone is going to plop down $800.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7563431